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I've become something new. I've begun something new, yet nothing that I've been learning about is new -- only new to me.

For the most part, I've really enjoyed the process of my life, especially this past year living in Israel and discovering my Jewish roots.

I appreciate broadening my life in such a way that I am inviting in brand new people to learn from. I am inviting Moshe, Avraham, Yaakov, Leah, Devorah, Ruth, Esther, Rashi, the Netivot Shalom, Rav Hirsch, Rav Nachman, rabbis, rebbitzins, and more importantly, Hashem. I like this because it is unifying. Wisdom is not only being passed down from parent to child, or grandparent to grandchild, but from the very beginning of time. I've been receiving wisdom from the sages.

There has been a change in me. I eat kosher food, I do not drive or use technology on Shabbat, I light candles every Friday night, I sing my heart out to Hashem, I pray from a siddur twice daily, and I truly feel that my life has been enhanced by these changes. I know exactly where I want to be on a Friday night. I want to be in a home lighting Shabbos candles, I want to be singing Kabbalat Shabbat in a bright, shining shul filled with men and women, and I want to eat and sing at a Shabbos table where divrei Torah are part of the conversation.

These days, I cover my body down to the elbows and knees. I do not touch men. I do not watch television, or listen to music that is not pure. I say the Shema before I go to sleep at night and I say Modeh Ani as I wake up in the morning. I do not go to public swimming pools and I do not want to be in a bathing suit in public. I want my body to be kept private.

These days, I am less enamored of global affairs; I have been focusing on my soul and my own personal happiness. I understand that in many ways I have been very fortunate financially, but emotionally I have been faced with sadness and disconnection from my parents, as well as distrust in myself for not treating myself with respect during much of my later teenage and college years.

Yet I am learning to love who I am on very deep levels. On the outside, I've been very giving to others, but never really knew how to give to myself. By learning how to give to myself I hope I am also learning how to give to my future husband, children, family, and community. I have spent time in many places and lived in a variety of communities, but I am never going to fully understand the life experiences of the places I've been. But in my lifetime, I will understand, because I want to understand, the "Jewish" life experience, because I am a Jew.

I am a Jew who has paid attention to her Judaism, but is now going deeper than ever before. I am Jew who believes that the Torah is holy and from God. I am a Jew who believes in the power of prayer, who trusts that Hashem is with me. It is hard to say the extent to which God is with me, but He is here, in my mind and in my heart everyday. I am a Jew who loves Friday morning, knowing that Shabbos is coming, loves candle lighting, loves the wisdom of the sages, and loves the infinite goodness which learning Torah brings to people. I love being a Jew who prays everyday, both in the words compiled by Chazzal and the words of my heart. I love being a Jew who wants to give to people in need, who wants to reveal purity, who wants to bring smiles to people's faces, make people laugh, dance, and then see and feel complete oneness and wholeness with who they are in this world.

I am Jew; I have a body and a soul. I have an infinite light inside of me, I have traditions, I have history, I come from a people who lived in tribes; I come from a line of musicians, poets, and builders. I come from a line of honest people who offered sacrifices to Hashem. I was born into a time in history when Jews are free to live as Jews, keep kosher, keep Shabbat, and learn Torah.

I've made it to Eretz Yisrael to live amongst the Jews and walk the land of my forefathers, and yes, indeed, I am changed.

Vanessa Mattes is from Berkeley Heights. A graduate from Rutgers in 2009, Mattes has been studying in Jerusalem, Safed, and Bat Ayin since finishing college.